Finn will be two in exactly a month, and if ever there was a stage I wish I could freeze in time and keep forever, it would be this one. I think I’ve said that with almost every stage thus far, and honestly even on teething days and tantrum days I’ve only retracted that wish a couple of times; but never once did I mean it. I seriously want to freeze him.
Let me tell you about our big life as of late.
Finn’s trucks are “big cool”, and sometimes after one too many intentional crashes, they’re “big broke”. Even the smallest trucks are “big, big trucks”. His eyes get all big, his sweet voice gets deep, and he drags out the “big” as long as he can.
The best part is that he even renamed Mama and Daddy to “Big Mama” and “Big Daddy”. Fortunately he doesn’t always call us that, sometimes I’m just “Mama, hey Mama” and Daddy is “Daddy, daddy da-daddy, daddyyyyy”.
When we go on our walks, weather permitting, we rock hunt and even the tiniest pebbles are “big rocks”. Today, he did decide to carry an actual big rock along with us, claiming he is “big strong”. I ended up carrying it the majority of the way home. I tried multiple times to sneak it back to the side of the road, but I guess not much gets by an almost-two-year old. One time recently, he was eating the last leftover muffin from the previous morning, and began begging for more. I lied to him and told him we didn’t have any more muffins, because I didn’t feel like making more muffins. I found him 5 minutes later holding the box of uncooked muffins he’d found in the pantry- eating the cardboard! Mom of the year.
Anyways, back to our big life. Staying home with my toddler is everything my heart could ever want right now, but it’s about as structured of a lifestyle as a pile of noodles. I try to take in this phase, the phase before school schedules and sports and running multiple kids to multiple places. But, because of the lack of structure and schedule I often lay down at the end of the day and as exhausted as I may be, I feel like I accomplished nothing.
This is why I love Finn’s reminder. You see, in his little blue eyes, from his little 3 foot vantage point, everything is so big. And by big I think he means amazing. I’ve learned he uses the word ‘big’ more like a term of endearment, which means even pebbles are amazing to him. How cute is that?
So when I plop down at the end of the night tonight with my toddler squishing his cheek on mine, I’ll remind myself that this fluid life right now is anything but unaccomplished. It’s BIG. These every day moments of crashing trucks and collecting rocks, of racing around the halls, and using our hands for airplanes- they are everything.