I have a newborn toddler.
He is changing day by day, and doing everything fun and funny and keeping me entertained and on my toes at all times. But something hasn’t changed, and that’s the fact that his sleeping patterns still seem to resemble that of a newborn. The child won’t sleep.
I know, I know, probably everyone has a “go-to” book that they’ve read and it worked miracles for their child. I have tried a lot of things and most recently I thought I was onto something miraculous- a peanut butter sandwich immediately before bed. He slept through the night twice with this remedy, but last night proved that this remedy is no miracle either.
So, as of the last 3 months or so, here’s a typical night: I put Finn to bed, and I pray hard over him that he will be safe and healthy, and really really really sleepy all night long. Then I go to bed. Then I wake back up usually around 1:00 in the morning to screaming blaring over my monitor. At some point, whether it’s after hours of letting him cry, or immediately scooping him out of his crib upon his first whimper, he ends up in bed with me.
Every time I put him in our bed, I think “Ok, now I can sleep”. But here’s where the real issue is. Finn refuses to sleep anywhere but on top of me, and he prefers my head. He squirms and whines until he is laying just perfectly on my face, then sleeps like a little angel baby. His legs straddle my neck, and my carotids are squished, and I’m certain I’m only receiving 25% of the normal blood flow to my brain. I wonder sometimes, if I fall asleep like this (which is almost impossible), will I ever wake up? I take my chances, and so far I keep waking up. Over and over.
Then somewhere around 6:30 we wake up for the day. Finn is usually fussing, because he is exhausted from trying to sleep on my head. I stumble zombie-like to the coffee pot, Finn screaming in my ear, and stare at the steam as it rises to the ceiling, trying to focus on the sanity it provides. The morning diva in me always wishes the coffee brewed faster. Mornings are not my forte.
All of this explanation, and my point is this: I don’t need mom advice, but I do really need someone to find me some super delicious edible coffee beans. I’ll hide them under my pillow, and at the first sign of Finn’s waking I’ll eat them all. My eyes won’t have to be open and my feet won’t have to stumble their way to the coffee pot.
I’ll be a much better mom in the mornings.
**Featured image: Joannarobertson.com &&& depicts nothing of real life, but I can’t photograph myself pre-caffeine. I refuse.